Most everyone knew this pregnancy was not planned. Jeremy and i spent a few days in awe and kind of in silence about it HA! We were shocked. Not that we don't already love this little bundle inside my tummy. But we just had thought our last was our last, ya know?
Yet even though it was so unexpected its been blessing me left and right and she is not even here yet. With this pregnancy i have been able to go slow. And enjoy it. I am no longer in college like the other 2. I am older and a bit more mature on many fronts. I have learned to find peace with the way things are and find joy in simple things. This pregnancy has forced me to slow waaaaaay down. And i have loved it. I had so many big and busy plans for our family this summer. But those all got put on hold. And you know what? I am actually glad. We always have next summer. And this summer we have spent more time around the house and yard. And i am ok with that.
I feel like i see very few friends and hardly get out anymore. A few years ago that would have bothered me. But i think we all get to a settling point where we just get into a groove. We settle into adulthood and parenthood and find a rhythm the rocks us slowly. I thrive in this rhythm and am my happiest there. I have always considered myself a social butterfly. Which i still am, just in a different way. I find so much more joy on a wednesday morning knitting with a group of great women than i do at a night club dancing my feet off and coming home late and tired. Not that i don't love to dance or throw back a few with my girls anymore, its just the feeling has changed. Waking up with a headache just does not entice me whatsoever anymore haha. It then ruins my peace and joy for the next day. BUT, i am sure i will still occasionally find myself coming in giggling at 2am at some point. I just don't seek those nights out nearly as much any more. But i miss my fabulous ladies whom the stories go on and on about. But they too have settled into a rhythm that works for them. And i know we will see each other eventually.
I find joy in simply wandering my yard these days. We put a lot of effort into learning the ropes of gardening and producing our own food. Although we have had many face plants, we have also had many successes and have learned a ton! It feels so amazing to bring in food that you grew from a tiny seed. And when i canned for the first time, i wanted to scream from the rooftops "I am woman hear me roar!"
May not seem like much to some, but i felt it was a HUGE accomplishment. And i found joy there.
I have spent less time on the computer (except for work). That has brought me MUCH joy. I have completed many knitting projects and prepared for more hand made and DIY projects. I find a large amount of joy in this.
The kids and i have done epic amounts of snuggling and just hanging out. And that i most find joy in. I have spent many hours working side by side with my husband on projects around the yard and just talking with him like a friend. Another thing i find extreme joy in. He is my best friend. I could go my whole life and only have him as my only friend. But, i do like my girl time with my gal pals lol.
I have spent 2012 trying to seek more joy. Real joy. No strings attached joy. Free joy. And also giving joy to others.
2012 has been a hard year. Lots of people have gone to heaven. And some dates this year marked a year since others went to heaven. Those moments are painful. But there is still joy somewhere in them. The joy of the times we spent with them. And the joy of the memories no one can take.
And no post would be complete without pictures of the things that bring me joy.